Step 1. Think of any attribute you have, any description you have of yourself, your name, age, job, nationality, sex, anything that you think defines you, then ask yourself, if that adjective or attribute were removed would you still be you. In other words is that attribute, quality, name etc essential to your being . imagine yourself without that quality attribute, name, condition, if it is possible to imagine yourself without it, then it is not the essential you. Do this until you get to some essential attribute, name, condition, it follows logically that whatever you arrive at will be your essential self.
Step 2. Pay attention to your breath, make it slow and deep, with pauses in between the inbreath and the outbreath, the out breath and the in breath. Try to concentrate only on your breath, try to see how much of your awareness can be focused on the breath, without stress! Let your mind sink into your breath so that they almost become the same thing. As the mindbreath inhales and exhales, pay particular attention to the pauses in between, as the breath ends allow the mind to float on for a while, without thoughts. It may be easier to coordinate the breath with raising the arms, this extra activity (asana) may make staying with the breath easier. Observe this separation and joining together of mind body and breath, this is clarity and union.
Step 3. It makes absolutely no difference to source reality if you realize your essential self or not, when or how or if it happens cannot be known before hand, so relax , everything is taken care of.
This process may result in realization of the essential self, we tend to react to life depending on our vision of ourselves, how we see ourselves. Obviously if we realize that our essence, who we really are, is something not actually influenced by thoughts, events, past, present or future, then we can really relax and feel safe, there is no danger and never will be. This liberates energy, joy, freedom. We may still have the same mental patterns, thoughts, emotions, even negative ones, but that is fine, its part of the show, we no longer identify with them, with our suffering. We can go along with the whole show without getting lost in it, we can cry, get, angry, laugh, and love, live life fully and freely.